Lucky Valentine

She’s not going to see this coming. This week I’m taking some time to bask in the Glory of Lori.

We were set up on a blind date. Our friends Doug & Cookie were our bosses before becoming lifelong friends, each owning their own business. They had a habit of co-locating their businesses next to each other, so the two crews had enjoyed many Friday happy hours over the years with each other. Lori had left Cookie’s employment to attend law school, but someone I worked with knew her and put us together. This was the first stroke of good luck - our overlapping social networks.

We hit it off right away. We talked a lot about food, and farming. I was in grad school, doing an independent study of a marketing idea I had - a delivery service for all of the merchants at the North Market. My thesis was that all of those workers in downtown Columbus would love it if they could order the great products offered by the North Market’s merchants and have them delivered to their offices before heading back home in the suburbs. In short, I was thinking some of the same things that Jeff Bezos was thinking, around the same time. He had a better plan, and has executed it well…but I got the girl. We ate at the Galaxy Cafe in Powell, one of my all-time favorite “joints.” Not fancy, but much care was taken in the sourcing of ingredients and the preparation of meals.

After meeting my best friend Peter for the first time, he offered me a 3-word directive: “Don’t blow it.” Somehow I pulled it off. We were married in 1997. Our firstborn arrived in 2000. So we had a few years before we came parents. It’s been about two years since we’ve felt like “empty-nesters.” Nearly perfect symmetry. Just the two of us, then four, now back to two. And we genuinely like each other. We kind of marvel at it.

How many people get to this point and no longer recognize their spouse? How many have been biding their time before parting ways, “for the kids?” On this side of things, I see how easily that could have been us. Too much stress of a particular type, at just the wrong time…sometimes circumstances exceed our capacity. But if you can run enough gauntlets without breaking, strengthening the bond through shared crucibles that galvanize rather than disintegrate…then you’ve really got something. Undoubtedly there are more challenges ahead, but we know what we have in each other, and will take them on.

We’ve come this far and are in pretty good shape. The road ahead looks pretty sweet. Let’s ride, baby.

Sunday Supper

Well, it is Super Bowl Sunday. I raided the Copia Farms freezer for some chicken wings, which I’m going to prepare this way. If I can spare the time, my intention is to make homemade pizza Hot Pockets using this Rough Pastry Dough and a filling of Mid’s Pizza Sauce, Italian sausage, Green Pepper and Mozzarella. This Slow Cooker Mongolian Beef is part of the meal prep plan for the week ahead as well.

Sunday Music

Pat Metheny & Charlie Haden playing their duet Waltz for Ruth is never a bad thing. This rendition of Funny Valentine by Rachelle Ferrell is wonderful. John Prine & Iris DeMent singing In Spite of Ourselves. How about a nice mix of Sade to round things out this week? Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead! Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.



Peace & Love,

Decisions & Outcomes

I am increasingly convinced that people really do not want to cook. Yesterday I had two experiences that support this. The first was a simple one - I was running some errands with a friend, and they wanted to snag from French fries from Arby’s. Easy enough to order, but the wait for the food stress tested the notion of “fast food.” Yet there were plenty of cars lined up for this experience. A little later in the day, I myself was looking to have some lunch. I’ve never been to Warrio’s Beef & Pork, but have heard great things about them. So I swung by, peeked in the door, and the line snaked throughout the interior so much…I didn’t have the time to spare to wait in that queue, and luckily Katalina’s down the street was less slammed. I understand queuing up for something great (and I suspect Warrio’s is great), but for Arby’s? I’m ready to blame cell phones for this. Stuck in a line? No problem, just check social media or work on today’s crossword puzzle. We blame our phones for so much, why not this too?

I swear I’m not relying solely on Tim Ferriss’ podcast for inspiration, but for two weeks running now, his thought-provoking interviews have inspired me. This week he spoke with Seth Godin, another person whose perspective I highly value. This interview was so rich I feel compelled to re-listen to it later today.

A portion of their conversation was dedicated to the concept that decisions and their outcomes do not always line up, in terms of their quality. Good decisions do not always yield good outcomes, and vice-versa.

For example, consider Kodak’s decision to slow-roll their own invention of digital photography. Their film production and processing business was so massive and lucrative at the time, it seemed insane to cannibalize it too quickly. What they failed to appreciate was just how quickly competitors would emerge to grow this new category, effectively closing Kodak out of the new game while driving the legacy business to near-zero. Reasonably good decision, but bad outcome.

On the flip side, consider any person who wins the lottery. As decisions go, buying a lottery ticket can only be viewed favorably by hanging a high value on the hopes and dreams that may be spawned by such a purchase. In terms of pure math, the net present value of a lottery tickets is always far less than the ticket price. Paying $2 or $5 for something that is worth close to $0 is always a bad decision - regardless of the fact that people win lottery prizes every week.

So how does one stay focused on improving the quality of their decisions, and avoid getting too hung up on any given outcome when evaluating their decision-making ability?

Journaling can be a valuable way to memorialize our rationale for making important decisions. Therefore, we can review this rationale post-facto to see what we may have missed (as well as what we got right).

Developing a formal checklist or framework for different types of decisions can be helpful. Things like listing key assumptions, calculating expected value, and forcing ourselves to consider multiple scenarios can ensure a certain amount of rigor behind our decisions.

Reviewing other people’s big decisions can be informative as well. For well-documented decisions (and their supporting rationale), we can assess decisions made by others pretty rigorously, which we can then learn from and inform our own future efforts.

We can and should regularly evaluate our decision-making ability. We should also not allow a few bad outcomes here and there to doubt ourselves.

Sunday Supper

I’ve lived in the Buckeye State my entire life, and I’ve never heard of the Sloppy Bird sandwich. Yet I am intrigued by the prospect of a “Chicken pot pie on a bun…”. This Cabbage Roll Soup seems straightforward and satisfying on a cold February night. These Salmon Burgers also caught my eye…having missed out on Warrio’s yesterday, maybe I’m just looking for an excuse to eat a good sandwich…

Sunday Music

Lori and I snuck over to Pittsburgh last Sunday see Martin Sexton perform many of the songs from The Beatles’ Abbey Road album, as well as some of his own songs. This performance of “Oh! Darling” is from this current tour. In addition to seeing Martin perform, we also came across the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile in the pre-dawn hours as we made our way back to Columbus. (Dreams do come true.) Lastly, this complete recording of a performance by the group I’m With Her for WGBH in Boston from 2019 should brighten your day. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.



Peace & Love,

Figure It Out

This essay was sparked when I listened to a recent interview of famed investor Chris Sacca by Tim Ferriss. (FYI - Chris’s vocabulary is frequently spiced with the “F” word. If that’s an issue for you, perhaps don’t listen to the interview.)

I really appreciate Sacca’s viewpoint - both in this interview and others I have listened to over the years. Despite his financial success, he strikes me as a person well-grounded in many of the values that I also hold. The key thing that I was reminded of by this interview was just how different my childhood was from that of my children. I was pretty feral in comparison.

Somehow I had forgotten how many miles I put on my 10-speed bike, riding to friends’ homes that were many miles from my own. I was reminded of the tree houses my friends and I erected on property that wasn’t ours, spending entire days 20 or 30 feet off of the ground, playing imaginary games and talking about everything imaginable. It was a much less structured existence - one where I had to fill the vacuum without the internet offering endless distraction. Things could go sideways, in a Lord Of The Flies kind of way back then. Arguments would arise, and we would have to hash it out, both verbally and sometimes physically. In those moments, we were on our own. There was just a general understanding with my mom that I should return home some time around sundown. But this was about the only rule governing my days.

This is not to suggest that I wish my childhood experience was simply cut-and-pasted onto my childrens’ lives. I recognize that there were probably predatory people taking advantage of youngsters back in those days. But getting into (and out of) jams, navigating personal conflict or friction is a skill that can only be developed through engagement.

Sacca is right that today’s youth are rarely put in a situation where they have to figure things out. So if you have kids today, I encourage you to allow them to meander into such situations sometimes. It will do them good. When they leave the protective bubble of your home and its surrounding community, they will find themselves in weird situations. Microdosing on weirdness will help prepare them to live in the broader world.

If Artificial Intelligence is as disruptive a technological change as many predict, we all are going to have to strengthen our “figure it out” muscles. Change is coming, at increasingly faster speeds. One specific example worth considering: I have heard many predictions that AI is going to drastically reduce the need for lawyers. How do we maintain a solid roster of experienced attorneys if much of entry-level legal work is automated away by AI? This same basic issue appears to exist in the realm of software engineering too.

There is an answer, but we might only discover it by wrestling with the new reality when it arrives. So I hope we all have developed our “figure it out” skills. We are probably going to need them more than ever.

SUNDAY SUPPER

I made some great Beef Broth this past week, using bones purchased from the Copia Farm self-serve market. I froze some of it, using the rest to make a pitch-perfect French Onion Soup. You can make some today, if you use store-bought broth. This Broccoli-Quinoa Soup w/ Turmeric & Ginger looks yummy, as do these Braised Greens with Andouille.

SUNDAY MUSIC

This concert by the Avishai Cohen Trio is just wonderful. This performance by Bilal at the NPR Tiny Desk is super-groovy, too. Enjoy!

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Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.



Peace & Love,

Acceptance & Agreement

I turned 56 this past week. I was with my EO Forum group in Dallas, where we were all setting our intentions for the year ahead and discussing ways that we can support each other. I’m so fortunate to be surrounded by these people who help me think clearer and with more ambition than I would on my own.

I’m also so very lucky to have Lori as my partner. We made it to Chapman’s Eat Market last night for dinner, and checked out Cobra Bar for a nightcap. Both were top-notch. We were probably the oldest people at Cobra Bar, but it was good to know that I still know what the “it” place to hang out in Columbus is.

In his Letter from Birmingham Jail, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. wrote, "We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny." This fundamental observation highlights a crucial distinction that is often missed: the difference between acceptance and agreement. While agreement implies alignment of values and beliefs, acceptance represents something far more essential to human coexistence – the recognition of our shared humanity and interconnected fate, regardless of our differences.

Dr. King demonstrated this principle throughout his life. He did not agree with the systems of segregation and discrimination that pervaded American society, yet he accepted the humanity of the people who upheld those systems. This acceptance manifested not as passive resignation but as active engagement with those he opposed. King's nonviolent philosophy required accepting the reality of one's opponents while also working to transform their hearts and minds.

This distinction between acceptance and agreement becomes particularly important in our increasingly polarized society. If we confuse these concepts, we can fall into the trap of believing that accepting others' existence and humanity somehow compromises our own values. This misconception leads to ideological isolation, which reduces our capacity for growth and understanding.

Dr. King's philosophy suggests that acceptance is actually a strength rather than a weakness. By accepting the humanity of those who opposed him, he maintained the moral high ground while creating space for dialogue and transformation. This approach required tremendous courage – the courage to face one's opponents without dehumanizing them, to acknowledge their existence while challenging their actions.

With Donald Trump’s second inauguration occurring on the national holiday celebrating Dr. King’s life, the difference between acceptance and agreement glows brightly in my mind.

SUNDAY SUPPER

Today I’m going to make a big batch of this Cola-Braised Beef with Chile-Lime Onions, along with this Potato Pavé with Parmesan Crust. I’ll pair them with some roasted cauliflower and a green salad to round things out. This should carry us empty-nesters pretty far into the week, dietarily.

SUNDAY MUSIC

This set by Jason Isbell and Sadler Vaden at KEXP is fantastic. If you’re looking for something more upbeat to do your Sunday chores to, these Classic House Grooves will keep you moving. Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 



Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.



Peace & Love,

Safety Net

Yesterday began with a 2-hour job of shoveling the snow off the driveway.  Thankfully the weather didn’t prevent me from visiting Ghostwriter Public House Friday night.  It was their re-opening after taking a brief pause to re-imagine certain aspects of their operation.  The menu is now much simpler, and more affordable, but still with the same high quality that we have come to expect from them (don’t worry, the cheese curds are still on it).  The Hawthorne Smashburger that I had was outstanding, accompanied by crispy shoestring fries, seasoned with rosemary imbued salt and parmesan cheese and a crisp dill pickle spear. I think it is a significant upgrade to the burger that was previously on the menu, and look forward to trying other menu items soon.

Visually, the biggest change to the space was the addition of some small billiards tables that are for playing a classic old arcade game called Trifle.  Think of it as a billiards version of cornhole - each player has four balls per round to try and score points, which accumulate.  The first player to reach or exceed 100 points wins.  Ghostwriter v2.0 has moved closer toward what I think of when I think of a “Public House” - a great public venue to spend time with friends.  As always, the cocktail program is full of interesting and well-executed libations.

One last restaurant note: Lori alerted me to a new pizza place that rocked our world Saturday - it is called Dola Jeans, and they serve very well-conceived Detroit-style pies. If you ever had pizza from Pizza Nerds when they were located in Newark, Dola Jeans is similar, but more elevated in sophistication. It’s in Dover (Tuscarawas county), so if you ever find yourself in that part of the world I encourage you to check them out.

The news of the wildfires coming out of southern California this week has meshed with a number of other risk-management issues that I have been mulling over, both directly and indirectly these past few weeks.  One dimension of the story is that many of the homes that have been lost are large, expensive homes that enjoyed ocean views and were owned by many famous people.  Certainly these are people of means who will be able to return to comfortable circumstances relatively soon - but this doesn’t make it less of a tragedy to me.  Lost family heirlooms mean just as much to them as they would to me.

It made me think that I should re-evaluate our home insurance.  I suspect that our coverage is sufficient to satisfy the bank that holds our mortgage, but I doubt that it would fund a full restoration of what I think of as our “home.” Perhaps some policy changes are in order.

Some parts of the country have become really hard to insure.  Whether due to climate change, or regulatory wrinkles that make it harder for insurers to price policies that properly reflect their revised understanding of risk, in some places there are no rational options available.  Maybe this means that we shouldn’t build homes in certain areas - or perhaps one must be wealthy enough to bear the risks of losing such structures solely on one’s own.

The concept of insurance is neatly summed up by the phrase “A burden shared is lightly borne.”  If we all share a similar level of risk, we should be able to pool our resources and mathematically cover the costs of recovery for anyone in the payment pool who suffers a loss.  But it is not feasible to cover every conceivable scenario.  We cannot insure our way out of all possible losses.

Life is a marathon for most of us - and we don’t know where the finish line is.  Nor do we know how we will cross that finish line, limping, crawling, or blazing through the tape with a full head of steam.  How we exit the stage matters greatly in terms of finances.  We have seen loved ones languish, requiring lots of care and attention at the end, while others have gone via an “Irish Exit,” leaving quickly when no one was looking.

If we can’t buy insurance to cover every conceivable scenario, what then?  I think the only safety net is faith.  Faith in our individual ability to adjust to changing circumstances.  Faith in our community to be there for us should we need them.  For some, faith in a higher power offers peace of mind.  The comedian Bill Burr may have nailed it when he said “You’re gonna be fine.  And even if you’re not gonna be fine, isn’t it better to just exist thinking you’re gonna be fine until it’s not fine?  And then when it’s not fine, you can just handle it then.  There’s no sense to ruin right now, right?”

Backpacking (something I look forward to doing in the year ahead) has offered the most tangible evidence to me for how little I actually need.  Some food, clean water, shelter for the elements…I can be quite content with just these things, for quite a while.

It’s perfectly reasonable to scan the horizon for preventable problems.  But once you’ve done your due diligence and taken whatever action you can take to address the issues, live your life and try to enjoy each moment as it arises.

SUNDAY SUPPER

These recipes look like a great way to start the chilly week ahead.  This Kale Soup with Potatoes and Sausage should cure whatever ails you and warm you up tonight.  This vegetarian Mushroom & Sun-dried Tomato Farrotto looks just as comforting.  Or perhaps try this Salmon Bowl concept from Matty Matheson, best known for his role on The Bear (FYI - the video does have some salty language).

SUNDAY MUSIC

This concert by Kamasi Washington at the NPR Tiny Desk swings very hard.  If you’d prefer something a little more chill and smooth on a Sunday morning, multi-instrumentalist Coulou may be right up your alley.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Default Thriving

One of my children returned to his town yesterday, with the other leaving for his college home tomorrow, or as soon as this snow storm allows him to hit the road.  The holidays are over.  Even though we kept things relatively simple, I did not partake in hardly any lazy, sipping-hot-cocoa-while-reading-a-book sessions, and for that I am sorely regretful.  Nor did I tie down all of the loose ends that I typically try to tie down at the end of year (bookkeeping stuff, purging and reorganizing my office space and closet…the things that signal a reset for a new year.  I may get some of these done today, but it feels like I’m riding a freight train into Monday.  Not every Christmas involves kalsarikännit, sadly…

The traditional pork and sauerkraut meal went off without a hitch.  I think that Lori might be able to produce it blindfolded, given a few minutes to place all of the ingredients on the counter before covering her eyes.

A phrase that I have heard out of Silicon Valley leaders that I’ve been thinking about lately is “default dead.”  This is the status of any new tech startup - it’s default status is nonviable.  The world hasn’t asked for it to be created, and it is not generating enough revenue to sustain itself (if any).  But the founders have an idea that they think the world will embrace once it is revealed.  So they work themselves ragged trying to transcend this default dead status, testing their assumptions, making early versions of their product, getting customer feedback and iterating as fast as possible - a feverish sprint to come alive before they are swallowed up by default death.  Or at least some sort of not-dead status.

It’s a harsh term, but evocative.  It asks “Why do YOU deserve to be around? What good are you?”  As humans age out of childhood and tiptoe into adulthood, the universe basically asks them the same question.  What are you doing here, anyway?

It’s not an easy question to answer.  Answering it well requires a fair amount of self-awareness.  We need to know what we like, what we are reasonably good at.  Or at least something at which we could see ourselves enjoying the journey of gaining skill.  Landing on the right thing often involves a fair bit of luck.  A good professor who inspires our interest, a cute fellow student opting for a particular class, or some other bit of randomness that piques our interest.

The goal of course is to be better than not-dead.  It is to thrive.  It is to put ourselves in position to build the kind of life we desire, to make a contribution to the world that lights us up.  As a young adult, I can say with certainty that I was too focused on building my life.  I encourage all young adults to spend more time than I did thinking outwardly rather than inward at own selfish interests. Think hard about the contribution they wish to make to others.  In my experience it became far easier to build the life of my dreams when I shifted my focus in this way.  I understand that this might feel like a very roundabout way of getting what we want, but it is probably the most efficient way of living a great life.

Become less transactional.  Don’t worry about what the immediate payback for a helpful act might be.  Just give.  Be helpful.  It all comes out in the wash.  And if some omniscient bookkeeper notices that the ledger doesn’t balance out even-steven, I promise you will not notice or care.  In addition to good things coming back to you when you adopt a more helpful posture in the world, you will find intrinsic joy in more and more of your daily activities.  Life becomes a virtuous cycle of being helpful and then, lo and behold, helpful things falling out of the sky to benefit you, seemingly in random fashion.

Gary Vaynerchuck very much believes in this.  I have heard him speak of always wanting any deal he enters into to benefit the other party slightly more than it benefits him.  He also coined a phrase:  Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook.  (The “jabs” are selfless acts, followed by the occasional request for help from your network.)

As I think about the outcomes I’m trying to generate this year, I’m primarily thinking about what I can give to the world, such that these outcomes become easier, if not inevitable.

Sunday Supper

One of the reasons I didn’t have more down time over the holidays was my conscious choice to cook a lot of good food for my family while we were all gathered under one roof.  I made this Cheesy Wild Rice & Chicken Soup yesterday, and loved it.  (I also added mushrooms, which are not in the recipe.  Yes, it has Velveeta in it - it works!).  This Salt & Vinegar Baked Fish and Chips was well-received on Friday.  And this Labneh Tuna Salad is my plan for tonight.

Sunday Music

This recent Waxahatchee concert at the NPR Tiny Desk is a very pleasant way to start your Sunday. Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Wrapping It Up

Well, that was interesting.  This year came and went in the blink of an eye it seems.  I like to take some time and reflect on the prior year over the holidays.  Reflection has served me well.  I’m not interested in sharing how many times I made it to the gym, or how many books I read - but I do take note of these things.  Maybe you keep tabs on your own list of things.

A year is made up of 365 days (366 this year).  I’m pleased with how many of them I used with intention, focus and energy.  Each of those days is made up of subunits…whether we call them “hours,” “minutes,” “seconds,” they really all boil down to moments.  I did a solid job of being present and intentional, moment-to-moment, this past year.

I have spent enough time worrying about future troubles, and fretting about past mistakes to recognize how many moments I have squandered in my life.  2024 is the year where I not only recognized this for the waste that it is, but managed to meaningfully change my behavior.  I enjoyed myself quite a lot as a result.  The highs were perhaps not quite as a high, but there were very few lows.

In the days ahead I have more to do to button down the year, and set my intentions for 2025.  We never know how many days we have left.  With each passing year I take more seriously how I use every moment.  For mundane tasks, I am ruthlessly efficient.  Then I try to savor the good stuff.  Semi-tangential, but everyone should check out The Nokbox.  Trust me, this is time well-spent - for you and your loved ones.

As I was driving around yesterday, wearing a tee shirt with the windows down on a 63-degree December day, I thought to myself “Wow, this feels really weird.”  Then I put on some sunscreen and went about the rest of my day.

One thing that I try to do at the end of each year is to review any automated, recurring expenses (from things like subscriptions) to see if I should cancel any of them.  This year I have decided to cancel my subscription to MailChimp, the service I have been using to send many of you these weekly essays.  I’m not going to stop writing them, I’m just not going to pay MailChimp to send them to you.  For the past year I’ve been posting the essays to my personal blog, at this address: (https://www.nealbell.com/blog), and I will continue to post them there.  

If you feel like you may need a weekly reminder to stay in the habit of reading this weekly essay, here is what I propose:  Set a recurring calendar reminder for Sundays at 8:30am, saying “Check out Neal’s weekly essay at www.nealbell.com/blog".  This has been my weekly publishing time for many years.  It is a hard-wired habit for me, and will continue indefinitely.  So, this is not goodbye - just a renegotiation of how you will access the essays.  I hope I don’t lose too many folks in this transition.

Sunday Supper
I made each and every comfort food dish that I shared last week.  It was fun, delicious, and exactly what I wanted to share with my family in the days leading up to Christmas.  This week we will be enjoying the one and only standing menu that we repeat each and every year - the classic Pork & Sauerkraut dinner.  I’ve detailed it in the past, so will not repeat it this week.  I love it, though.  Super great meal.  Here are some recipe ideas to explore as we transition into the New Year, post whatever indulgences you enjoy between now and Wednesday:  One Pot Chicken & Rice w/ Caramelized Lemon, Cashew Chicken Ding, and Sticky Miso Salmon Bowl.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I offer you this wonderful concert by the Brad Mehldau Trio performed earlier this Fall.  Enjoy!  

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Got To / Get To

I just wrapped up the last demanding week of the year, and am looking forward to slowing down and savoring time with my family for the next two weeks.  Yesterday I drove all over Central Ohio running various holiday errands, then took a nap so that I could watch the Ohio State football game (it sure got cold up on old Rocky Top last night).

This morning starts with brunch with dear friends, then I’m going to make Pork Chile Verde and light a fire in the backyard. Some warm stew + these bourbon hot toddies sounds really good to me right now.

I’m looking forward to having some time to reflect on this year, and decide what I’m going to change in the year ahead. Not New Year’s resolutions, but actual plans that get done. 

This year’s plan was executed very well. I am loving the work I’ve been doing as an EOS Implementer, and look forward to doing more of it in the year ahead. I weigh 14 lbs less than I started the year. I expect to slim down a little more, but my default diet habits are serving me very well. I’ve never slept better, or drank less alcohol (this is probably related). I don’t foresee becoming a teetotaler, but less is definitely more for me when it comes to alcohol.

One thing I’m certain of is that I’m going to spend at least one week hiking the Appalachian Trail in 2025. It’s been too long since I’ve done this.

This Instagram video caught my eye recently. It’s a great reminder that we all have agency, and the value in owning our experience. Switching an “I’ve got to” statement with a version that starts with “I get to…” is a great habit to develop.  Most of my "problems" are challenges only fortunate people face.  I'm glad I get to take them on.   Every path in life has costs - personal sacrifice, paths not taken, judgment of other people. Reminding ourselves that this is the path we have chosen puts these costs in perspective. We can’t do everything, but we can make sure that we care about the things that we choose to do.

In some ways, I rediscovered what lights me up this year. So, let’s do more of that, and keep refining things to maximize the experience of being a fully engaged human on planet Earth. 

Wishing you warmth, spice, togetherness and strong sense of purpose in the weeks ahead.

Sunday Supper
With the kids home, I'm very much thinking of larger format comfort food classics right now.  These Chicken Pot Pies look amazing.  I'm making something like this Sunday Sauce from Michael Symon on Christmas Day, pairing it with a range of raviolis made by Carfagna's.  I'm also going to make an Olive Garden-type salad, probably chopping it up finely, more akin to a Lebanese Tabouli than a leafy green salad.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I'm feeling very Pat Methenyish.  This collaboration with Polish singer Anna Maria Jopek is fantastic, as is this cover of Sting's song Fragile with a different ensemble.  This performance of Shadow Dance with Herbie Hancock, Jack DeJohnette, and Dave Holland is incredible.  And lastly, this song from the amazing Orchestrion Project, where Metheny programmed all of the accompaniments to his playing, player piano-style.  Enjoy! 

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Crazy Christmastime

The great Lorne Michaels is often quoted as saying this about being ready to put on a new episode of Saturday Night Live:  “The show doesn’t go on because it’s ready, it goes on because it’s 11:30 on Saturday Night.”  Well, it’s almost 8:30am on Sunday (my self-appointed time to publish the weekly essay), and I am far from ready to share much in the way of coherent thought on any specific topic.  So, the essay portion of this week’s post will be short, but I’ve still curated some food and music ideas for you.

I think it is safe to say that my year is going out with a bang.  This week our offspring returned to their suites at Hotel Bell, my work was fully engaging, and I attended a personal development program that spanned Friday evening and both mornings of the weekend.  A couple of “yes”es to holiday invitations and voila - every waking moment of the week was fully allocated.  Hitting the snooze bar this morning meant that I would have very little time to crank out this newsletter.

Falling short of our own expectations is inevitable, and understandable from time to time.  When this happens, all we can do is regroup and move forward.  Perhaps I will have something more thoughtful and focused to share this time next week.

Sunday Supper
Lori made this Vegetable Korma yesterday, and was super-satisfying.  And these Chicken Enchiladas will feed a crowd - but can only fall short of the standard our friends set each year.  Having grown up in Arizona, they “know a guy” who ships them hatch chiles, which they roast and put in their freezer, using them to serve the best enchiladas I have ever had.  (And I can say this definitively, because I had the good fortune of enjoying them again last night.). Both recipes will help you feed a crowd as family trickles in over the next week.

Sunday Music
Today is a musical choose-your-own-adventure.  On one end of the spectrum you can enjoy the stripped-down sound of Billie Eilish at NPR’s Tiny Desk, or this recent stadium-pop set from Coldplay.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

A Good Question

As I look at my calendar from now through the holidays, I find myself thinking back to the weeks leading up to our wedding, nearly 28 years ago.  Any time that I felt stress creeping in to our conversations, I would pose the question: “What would we do if it were our wedding?”

This gentle reminder that we were in charge framed things in a way that was much less stressful.  Our wedding was wonderful - exactly what we wanted it to be.  This holiday season can be too - if we remember who is in charge.

These next few weeks will offer ample opportunities to overdo things - too much socializing, too little sleep, too much consumption.  Sometimes it is fine to stretch and do more than normal to spend time with friends and loved ones.  But make sure it is a choice, and that your choices add up to experiences that you really want to have.

And here is the big reveal - this little trick works for lots of things:

What would you do if it were your job?
What would you do if you were the boss?
What would do if it were your company?
What would you do if it were your life?

We probably shouldn’t navigate life solely from the perspective of our own selfish interests.  But I’m getting reconnected with the question “What do I want?”  It’s a good question - one that doesn’t always point us toward the path of ease and comfort.

It’s OK to stretch yourself.  It’s OK to overcommit.  Just make sure its a conscious choice, and that you know why you are doing so.

I wish you a holiday season that makes sense for you.

(Note:  I recently discovered that I neglected to send last week's essay to those of you who subscribe to it via email.  So today you get a 2-for-1 special at no extra charge!)

Sunday Supper
I didn’t have the energy for the Candlelight Walking Tour yesterday.  Instead I made a big pot of this Birria Beef that we’re going to throw on tortillas or salad for the next few days.  I’m drawn to this Brussels Sprouts Salad w/ Pomegranate and Pistachios.  Topping it with the Birria will mix Latin and Mediterranean cuisines, but I think it should work.  (This is what I would do if it were my lunch today…)

Sunday Music
This chill performance in a forest outside of London by Yuuf is a nice listen on a relaxing Sunday.  And this recent performance by Morcheeba at St. Moritz is a great vibe as well.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Hard Thought

I saw this quote from James Clear recently, and it resonated with me:

“We need to define “hard work” to include “hard thinking.”  The person who outsmarts you is outworking you.  The person who finds shortcuts is outworking you.  The person who has a better strategy is outworking you.  Usually, the hardest work is thinking of a better way to do it.”

A robust work ethic is great to have - and is table stakes for most career situations.  But do not overlook the value of deep thinking to set yourself and your organization apart.  Since it is mostly revealed well after the fact, quality thinking is undervalued.  Some time before Jeff Bezos bought the cheapest office space he could find, and placed a door across a couple of saw horses to use as his desk, he had achieved sufficient strategic clarity to know that dominating the world of online bookselling would open vast, blue oceans for his startup to scale into rapidly.  It was only after this strategic insight that his aggressive work ethic mattered very much.

The first lawn care service that discovered how to access and use satellite photos of real estate earned a leg up over the competition - this allowed them to generate instant price quotesfor their services, while everyone else still required a personal visit to each property before generating their competitive bid.

The founders of Uber and Lyft were the first to connect the dots that the addition of GPS services to the millions of smartphones around the world would create the conditions in which a decentralized network of private car owners could utterly disrupt the market for taxi services.

You get the point - insights large and small can create a competitive advantage.  That’s why it is so important for leadership to step away from their organizations a few times each year, to examine their base-level assumptions and open themselves up to the possibility that there are better ways of doing things.  Essentially, advantages gained from stepping away and thinking deeply are proof that you care just a little bit more about who you serve and how you serve them.

The same opportunity exists for how we manage ourselves and our households, if only we take the time to think about it.  Good ideas often sneak up on us.  Conjuring them is not as easy as picking up a shovel and digging a ditch.  You’ve got to pose the right questions to yourself, and if nothing immediately arises in response to it, you can be sure that some portion of your subconscious brain will continue to work on the problem, delivering an answer in the not-too-distant future.

So don’t just work hard.  Take breaks, get away and think.  Ponder good questions.  Create more surface area for inspiration to arise.  When the answers bubble up, they may crack open whole new areas for you to explore and then apply that strong work ethic that the world more easily sees and values.

Sunday Supper
If you didn’t try out that Kings Ranch Casserole last weekend, you’re missing out.  I made it last Sunday, and it was delicious.  With the temperatures continuing to drop and the Superbowl of Cooking (Thanksgiving) behind us, now would be a good time to make this simple but satisfying Tomato Rice With Crispy Cheddar from Priya Krishna.  (I sometimes substitute a can or two of Rotel for the diced tomatoes to save myself some food prep.).  I think I’m going to make this Lemony White Bean Soup with Turkey & Greens today to use up the last of our bird. Rather than make a salad, perhaps roast a pan of sturdier vegetables today.

Sunday Music
I love April Varner’s voice.  Here is is her 2023 submission to the Ella Fitzgerald Jazz Vocal Competition.  And here is John Batiste playing some Christmas music on the piano.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

School Of Pain

I just wrapped up an intense, but very positive week of full engagement.  The gratitude that I feel is perfect for the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. 

This time last year, I knew that I would be embarking on the EOS journey, but I didn’t know exactly what it would entail.  Now I know - and am pleased to report that I am very much on the right path that I was envisioning.  It feels good to type those words.  It’s been a lot of work to gain this certainty, and more work still to fully realize my potential as a coach/facilitator/teacher to entrepreneurs and their leadership teams.  But I’m off to a good start, and know that I can be very good at this work I’m pursuing.

It’s from this position of earned certainty that I’ve been reflecting on some of the lower points in my life.  The meta lesson from all of life’s adverse events (random or self-inflicted): Lessons learned from adversity really stick around. 

This stems from our evolutionary heritage. We're simultaneously equipped with a powerful drive to avoid anything that might lead to failure (survival instinct) and an equally powerful capacity to learn deeply from our mistakes (adaptation). This is why failure feels so terrible in the moment - it's supposed to. But it also explains why those lessons stick with us so permanently. We're literally wired to learn most deeply from our most painful experiences.

That’s quite a paradox - we do everything we can to avoid the embarrassment and costs of failure, but when it occurs (and it will occur to all of us) there is a massive learning opportunity.  

Switching as quickly as possible from self-pity or grief to curiosity is a tall order - but I encourage you to make this transition as fast as you can.  There is nothing to be gained by wallowing around in negative self-talk, wish-casting, woulda-coulda-shouldaing.

When things absolutely fall to shit, asking ourselves why this happened, and how we will choose to move forward is absolutely critical.  I nibbled around this in my post Bounce Back at the beginning of the year, but I’m feeling it again today, with a different kind of clarity.  How often have you felt “Man, I wish I had done X sooner…”. I’ve felt this too.  But I’m also mindful of moving forward too quickly, without soaking up all the lessons from my missteps. 

As a parent I sometimes worry that I didn’t expose our children to enough adversity.  Building that bounce-back muscle is really important.  Heaven knows the universe is going to test us all.  No matter how well-prepared we may be, it has a knack for throwing us unanticipated curveballs.  By definition, if we had anticipated something, it wouldn’t be able to deliver as powerful a lesson.

There’s a silver lining in all the unwanted circumstances in life.  We’d never seek them out, but they end up shaping us into more powerful versions of ourselves.  Maybe they reveal us, stripping back the artifice.

When pain wants to teach you a lesson, make sure to take good notes.

But this week is all about gratitude.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Sunday Supper
As family rolls in, lean on recipes that are both simple and can feed a crowd.  This King Ranch Casserole fits the bill, as does this Polish Hunter’s Stew.  For something less meaty, this Korean Soft Tofu Stew looks hearty and soothing.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I offer this tribute to the late, great Quincy Jones who left us recently.  Enjoy!  (FYI - for some reason the audio doesn’t kick in until about one minute into the video.)

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Architects & Contractors

A week and a half ago I had the privilege of seeing Jason Henkel speak.  Jason is Founder and Chief Balance Engineer of Focus To Evolve, a company dedicated to illuminating a path to meaningful output and piercing the “trance of busyness.”  The title of Jason’s talk was “Spacious Productivity:  Work Better Hours, Not More Hours,” and it couldn’t have been more well-timed.  As my EOS practice has been ramping up, there has been plenty of busyness in my world.  (FYI - I’m giving a talk about EOS at 11:45am this coming Wednesday at Innovate New Albany.  Come check it out if you are interested.)

Rather than try to replicate Jason’s talk, I will share the specific actions I have taken as a result of the talk, and how they have worked out so far.  If you are a leader of an organization, or simply someone looking to make better use of your most precious resource, I highly recommend checking out the Focus To Evolve website that is linked above.

I should share one basic concept that Jason discussed:  The concept of managing our calendars like Architects, then executing each day in a Contractor mindset.  Plan your days in advance, with a holistic perspective that accounts for all of your priorities.  When you wake up tomorrow morning, follow the plan that the “Architect” has drafted for you, much as a Contractor shows up on a construction site to build a portion of the plans that the architect has drafted for the project.  I find the distinction between these two modes to be very helpful.  Even prior to seeing Jason speak, I recognized that some of my best work happens when I make sure to have a clear plan for tomorrow before my head hits the pillow tonight.  

So, without trying to explain the many WHYs that Jason explained so well, here are some of the WHATs that I have implemented in my life that I highly recommend:

TURN OFF ALL ALERTS:  Pings, chimes, bells, and even the little red dot with the ever-growing number tallying up the number of emails you have not yet examined.  All they do is diminish your ability to focus.

DEFAULT TO CALENDAR:  If you use Google or Microsoft Outlook, you can and should revise your default setting so that your Calendar is the default starting page - not Email.  Email is an abyss of endorphin-based distraction.  Strategy does not live in our email.

TASK LIST:  Anything that I owe anyone (including myself) goes on a task list.  Much like the Issues List for companies that run on EOS, my task list gives me comfort knowing that I won’t forget anything important, because I have cultivated the habit of maintaining this list.

RECURRING WORK PODS:  I have two recurring 2-hour work pods each day on my calendar, one from 9a-11a and the other from 2p-4p.  The first 90 minutes is dedicated to Focused work.  For any given day, this will be some combination of the most urgent and important tasks on my task list.  I sometimes schedule meetings that supplant or push these work pods, but putting them on my calendar in advance increases the likelihood of preserving them.

PROCESS EMAIL:  I process my email in two :15-minute sprints each day.  Notice that I didn’t say that I “answer” my email in this timeframe.  Processing it means turning any email that requires minutes, calories and has some level of importance to me into a task.  Most emails get filed or deleted.  The few that require action are added to my task list.

GUIDED MEDITATIONS:  Rather than scrolling social media on my breaks, I am now listening to one or two guided meditations each day.  They help clear our brains of biochemical junk, allowing us to maintain a higher level of focus deeper into the day.

WEEKLY TRIAGE:  Once a week, look out at the next two weeks of your calendar.  For each item on your calendar, choose one of four things:  DO it (i.e. keep it on your calendar as-is), DELEGATE it to someone else, DELETE it (because it is no longer important, or DEFER it further into the future (beyond the 2-weeks you are currently reviewing).

RADICAL SABBATICAL: - I have not yet officially done this, but Jason recommends people to take one day for themselves each quarter -  a full day off (no working), engineered well in advance, with light days before it and after it.  Just an open day, by yourself, digital detox.  While I have not done this exact thing as described, my quarterly gatherings with my EO Forum serve much the same purpose for me.

TWO MORE THINGS FROM ME
Jason did not suggest these in his talk, but I want to add two more items to consider.  

The first is a Monthly Review, where I look at how I used my time in the prior month.  This will inform how I manage my self in the future.  

And the second thing is to allow a 3rd persona to live in our Architect/Contractor paradigm - I think we sometimes need to have a Surfer, for when the world throws us meaningful unexpected “curveballs.”  Sometimes we need to be open to the possibility of abandoning today’s plan, and surf events as they unfold.

Almost two weeks into this new approach, my experience with these changes is that they have given me a meaningful increase in “Spacious Productivity.”  I recommend an audit of your habits in this realm if you’ve been feeling too harried or hectic.

Sunday Supper
I tend to prefer a hearty stew over a pureed, smooth soup - but this Carrot Ginger Soup was really wonderful this weekend.  (I added a 1/4 tsp of cayenne pepper to warm it up a bit).  This Lentil Stew with Bacon offers more texture and protein.  This Fall Green Salad is a perfect accompaniment to either.

Sunday Music
Last week’s musical selection sent me down a Kenny Kirkland rabbit hole.  Perhaps one of our most underrated jazz pianists, Kenny could do it all.  Here he performs a set with Branford Marsalis on saxophone, Jeff “Tain” Watts on drums, and Robert Hurst on bass.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Buckle Up

Donald Trump’s Presidential reality show has been renewed for a second 4-year term.  For the first time in three campaigns, a majority of American voters have opted for him over his political opponent.

This decision by voters caught me more off-guard than when Trump defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016, winning the electoral college by a margin of 304-227 (though losing the popular vote by 2.8 million votes).  Back then, it was easier to appreciate that some voters viewed him as an outsider who could shake things up in Washington.  This time around, he won despite losing a number of civil and criminal court battles since 2020, despite being indicted in both federal and state courts for a range of crimes, and despite nearing 80 years in age.

All of these factors made me skeptical that he could eclipse his vote count from 2020 (74.2 million).  This was basically correct - this week he earned 74.6 million votes.  But I didn't expect Kamala Harris to underperform Joe Biden's 2020 vote count by 10.4 million votes.  Trump’s ability to convince a majority of Americans to vote for him in spite of these many factors is nothing short of remarkable.  

While I fear that America has just been sold a bag of magic beans from the fable Jack and The Beanstalk, I must now root for Donald Trump.  My distrust of the man and his motives does not outweigh my genuine desire for a vibrant society.  So I hope that all of the actions he takes as president move us in a positive direction.  

I’m reminded of Mark Twain’s thoughts on worrying: "Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.”  Hopefully this holds true for the many concerns I have.

I can’t say I will be rooting for the President if he tries to force Ukraine to accept an unreasonable peace settlement.  Or strikes down the Affordable Care Act, replacing it with “concepts of a plan.”  Whatever may come, I accept that as a nation we have chosen this man as our leader.

I will be managing myself far differently than I did during the first Trump term. Back then I viewed it as my civic duty to stay highly informed on his administration's activities. Not this time. No more “doom scrolling” for me. I will not abandon my civic duty to stay informed, but it will be done in a more disciplined fashion. I’m not going be as concerned about things that are far outside my control or influence. As the late Tim Kight would put it, I’m going to manage my “20 square feet” of the world.

In her concession speech, Harris said “A fundamental principle of American democracy is that when we lose an election, we accept the results.  This principle, as much as any other, distinguishes democracy from monarchy or tyranny.  And anyone who seeks the public trust must honor it.”  She models behavior that we did not see from her opponent just four years ago.  But so it goes…

America has bought the ticket.  Now we ride the ride.  Buckle up.

Sunday Supper
Perhaps all of us Harris supporters should enjoy some Barbecue Crow Sliders this Sunday!  I’d rather tuck into this comforting Swedish Potato Salmon Casserole instead, along with Roasted Pear Salad w/ Endive, Blue Cheese and Hazelnuts.

Sunday Music
This song by Chumbawamba feels appropriate this week.  This documentary of the making of Sting’s album, Dream Of The Blue Turtles brings back a lot of fond memories.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Fifty-Fifty

Here we are, two days before the next election, and all of the races look like they could go either way.  I voted a couple of weeks ago, and I have not seen anything that has me second-guessing my votes.

It’s been a good week, one that was a bit less demanding than many of the weeks preceding it.  But I have developed a head cold. It’s like my body waited until I had a little down time before it succumbed to the stresses of life, and the germs of Fall.  So far it’s not too debilitating.  A fair amount of sneezing and blowing of my nose, but I have plenty of energy and no fever.  So do I get on that flight later today, to surprise a friend celebrating their 50th birthday?  If I slug back some DayQuil to dry out my sinuses, I might be able to present a pretty normal version of myself.  But how many other people, between the plane and the birthday party, would receive the gift of my germs?

On any given day, I could be the friend insisting that my buddy with a head cold still come visit me.  I’ve also been the person wondering why that snotty, sneezy person didn’t just stay home.  Of course both Lori and I regularly intersect with older people, and don’t want to be the source of illness for them.

I’m still not completely committed to staying home or going to this party in another city.  But if I were to flip a coin, I know which way I would want it to land while it was still hanging in the air.  I think that is the best rubric we can apply when faced with fifty-fifty choices.  Toss the coin, then notice where your mind goes.  

Decide, then commit.  The very nature of the decision means that you will still feel you chose wrong fairly often - but that’s only from the perspective of hindsight.  Hindsight is always more informed than foresight, so don’t let that overinflate your inner critic.  Decide, then commit.

The concept of Fifty-Fifty also reminds me of Lovely’s FiftyFifty, the wonderful pizza shop in Portland, Oregon headed by Sarah Minnick.  When planning the restaurant, she expected the sales of Pizza and Ice Cream (in addition to Netflix-worthy pizza, they also make world class ice cream) to be split roughly evenly.  I suspect she sells more pies, but again - that’s hindsight.

So life gives us plenty of coin-toss decisions to make.  The randomness of it sometimes yields long streaks of either heads or tails outcomes.  Over and over, same result.  If you ever feel like you are caught in such a string, just keeping flipping those coins.  It will work itself out.  Somewhere down the line is another streak where the coin will land the other way, reverting the trend back to the mean.

Keep flipping, keep deciding, keep moving.

Sunday Supper
This Texas Chili Con Carne sounds good on a chilly Fall day.  And this brassica-centric Fall salad might deserve an audition for your upcoming Thanksgiving table.

Sunday Music
A few weeks ago, the guitarist Julian Lage joined the jam band Goose in Chicago and the result was pretty magical.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

A Few Words

Friday night, Game #1 of Major League Baseball’s World Series Championship.  The New York Yankees playing the Los Angeles Dodgers.  Bottom of the 10th inning, Yankees leading 3-2, bases loaded, two outs already secured by the Yankees.  First baseman Freddie Freeman steps up to the plate.  He turns on the first pitch - an inside fastball, to hit the game-winning, first-ever walk-off Grand Slam home run.  Dodgers win, 6-3.  Bedlam erupts in the sold-out Dodger Stadium.  The anthem I Love LA starts playing over the PA system.  The cosmic timing couldn’t be more perfect.

The song was written, performed and released by Randy Newman in 1983.  A new biography of Newman just came out, sharing its title with one of its subject’s songs:  A Few Words In Defense of Our Country: The Biography of Randy Newman.  The author is Robert Hilburn, who served as the chief pop music critic and music editor for the Los Angeles Timesfrom 1970 through 2005.

Hilburn writes that Newman is “torn between two impulses as an artist:  He wants to have hits.  Writing Pop music means after all it should be popular.  And he wants to say something, to express opinions on racism, sexism, and the always-fraught grandeur of the American Dream.”

Words ascribed to Newman on a recent NPR piece include “lovely,” “eccentric,” “oblique,” and “abrasive.”

His first Pop hit was 1977’s Short People.  Newman’s role as an unreliable narrator in the song was lost on many listeners.  They thought he really didn’t like short people.  This mistake was repeated in the songs Sail Away (where he plays the character of a slave trader), and in the character of an unabashed racist in the song Rednecks.  His satire has sometimes flown over peoples’ heads.

Newman’s character sketches of the exploited and creepy live in a ZIP Code near Tom Waits’ storytelling.  His lyrics often rise to a Twain-like level of cleverness, and some of his melodies are as sweet as Aaron Copeland’s Fanfare For The Common Man.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina’s devastation of New Orleans, Newman’s song Louisiana 1927, became an anthem.  “Louisiana, Louisiana they’re trying to wash us away…”

His songs span a wide history of America, and pull no punches.  The 1972 song Political Science features a jingoistic character that suggests that America should “Drop the Big One now,” using nuclear weapons in a way that eerily sound like certain modern American politicians.  

And some lyrics from his recent biography’s namesake song ring as true today as when they were written in 2008:

Just a few words
In defense of our country
Whose time at the top
Could be coming to an end
Now, we don't want their love
And respect at this point's pretty much out of the question
But in times like these
We sure could use a friend

You know, a president once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself"
Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid
It's patriotic, in fact
Color-coded
What we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraid
That's what terror means, doesn't it?
That's what it used to mean

The end of an empire
Is messy at best
And this empire's ending
Like all the rest
Like the Spanish Armada
Adrift on the sea
We're adrift in the land of the brave
And the home of the free

Nearing 80 years of age, it is certainly time for this retrospective of Newman's life and work.  Let’s celebrate him while he is still with us.

Sunday Supper
This Sunday I offer this Shaved Brussels Sprout Salad, with Toasted Hazelnuts along with this simple Beef Stew, ladled over a bed of cheesy polenta.  For dessert I’m making these elevated Rice Krispie treats (with a little bit of caramel added, because I always have to futz with these things).

Sunday Music
Here is NPR’s recent review of the Randy Newman biography, as well as a retrospective of past interviews with the artist.  Here Newman performs Sail Away with the London Symphony Orchestra.  Here he performs I Think It’s Going To Rain Today when he was inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.  Lastly, here is Newman performing with Lyle Lovett the iconic song written for Pixar’s Toy Story, You’ve Got A Friend In Me.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Staying Busy

I can’t believe there is only one more regular outdoor Farmers’ Market session next weekend.  (There will be one last outdoor session on Saturday, November 23rd to help us prep for Thanksgiving).

It occurred to me recently that I could prep and freeze raviolis prior to Christmas, which would make Christmas Day that much easier.  Plus we could enjoy a wider variety of fillings.  This video remains my go-to pasta recipe.  It’s had fresh sage and butternut squash from Birds Haven Farms, so I made this recipe last night.  It was great.  It took me about four hours to make about four dozen ravioli.  Four hours in the kitchen, music playing, cooking away…not a bad way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  In just a few afternoons between now and Christmas I should be able to stockpile a nice assortment.  “Strategic Ravioli Reserve,” I like the sound of that.

Fall colors are popping, and the leaves are dropping.  It’s much harder to find one’s golf ball on the course these days - even balls that find the fairway.  The tug-of-war between sneaking in one last round of golf and getting the leaves collected is here.

My desk is a mess.  I intend to reclaim it from entropy today.  Laundry, a run to Costco, meal prep for the week ahead.  Going to Dawes Arboretum, for a walk-and-talk with our youngest offspring (home from school for Fall Break).  Indian takeout from Shan E Punjab Dhaba.

Making sure that all of my friends who are curious about EOS attend this upcoming event if they can.  Drafting a spreadsheet containing Lori’s and my “wish list” of things to accomplish with a future home renovation.  (It’s just a twinkle in our eye right now, but a fun thought exercise.)

Cleaning out and reorganizing the garden shed.  The same for my closet and dresser drawers.  Prepping for upcoming coaching sessions.  Mowing the grass.  Fixing the drywall in the bathroom (a year-old remnant of a plumbing repair…I can’t have the boys return home for the holidays and still have this issue.)

I think this about covers it - my list of productive ways to avoid thinking about the upcoming election.  I voted this past Wednesday.  My contribution to the process is now over.  I suppose I could do some sort of campaign work, but I’m not sure that there are any “undecided” voters left to influence.  Early voting was very convenient, but I understand that some people prefer to cast their vote on Election Day.  However you do it, I hope that you get it done.

I’m choosing to listen to more music these next two weeks.  More book reading.  Less television and social media.  Nova and I will probably walk a bit more often, and a little further than normal.  Enjoy this beautiful Fall weather while it lasts.

Sunday Supper
Since our youngest is a vegetarian and home for a couple more days, my meal prep work this Sunday will be focused on vegetarian fare (I’ll also grill some chicken and steak to supplement these dishes for the meat eaters in the house.).  This Lentil Soup looks nice.  So does this Mac & Cheese.  So does this Fennel-Apple Salad w/ Walnuts.

Sunday Music
This hour-long performance by Derek Gripper and Ballaké Sissoko in Gümüşlük, Turkey from last year is a wonderful listen on this beautiful day.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Hard Fall

I spent much of the past week traveling to and from Eau Claire, Wisconsin to meet with an entrepreneur and the leadership team his business.  What a beautiful town, and a great group of people that I had the privilege of coaching.  That part of the world is about two weeks ahead of us in terms of Fall colors in the trees.  It was gorgeous.

Thursday was when I led the team through an all-day session - our first such session together, and the first time I was facilitating this particular batch of exercises.  I was prepared, and the meeting went well.  

During a brief break in the afternoon, I peeked at Facebook on my phone, and saw a post from a friend announcing a family tragedy that had happened earlier in the week.  I couldn’t believe it.  My heart sank into my stomach, sad for my friend who had to be experiencing unimaginable pain.

The meeting resumed in just a couple of minutes, demanding my full focus (and receiving it).  In hindsight, I’m surprised by how easily I compartmentalized this information.  Maybe it is evidence that I have experienced enough grief to know that it would still be there, waiting for me when the meeting adjourned.

I drove to Minneapolis after we were done, as I had to catch an early flight home the next day.  I thought about how seldom I’ve seen this friend over the past few years.  How COVID disrupted all sorts of social patterns.

It’s all so fresh, so raw.  I want to be sensitive to my friends, and their loss.  I fear I see a trend forming, one that I will write about when I have more composure, and more time to properly address it.

A tough end to an otherwise good week.  It serves as a reminder of how hard life can sometimes be - and how grateful we should be when things are going well.  It is so easy to take many things for granted.  I encourage you to take inventory of even the smallest blessings in your life, and feel gratitude for them. 

Experiencing loss in the Fall is extra hard, I think.  Grieving as the world gets colder, darker, more stark just magnifies the whole experience.  Go inward, friends.  Tune out the cold world and keep the home fires burning.  Spring will return, someday.

Sunday Supper
Lori was out of town visiting our first-born this weekend, so I indulged in a dish that only I enjoy - this simple Spam Kimchi Jjigae is so satisfying.  I loved it.  I’m also going to roast a Pork Shoulder using this method, to start the week with plenty of protein.  I’ll pair it with this Kale Slaw With Red Cabbage & Carrots.

Sunday Music
This Sunday I share with you a number of selections.  First is the inimitable Eva Cassidy singing Autumn Leaves.  Next is film composer Hans Zimmer performing Time (from the movie Inception), and the theme from Interstellar.  Finally, here is Pat Metheny performing The Truth Will Always Be.

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Attention, Please

I kicked off the fourth quarter in Portland, Maine this week.  It was the final gathering this year for my entrepreneurial peer group.  The city made a great impression on us.  We dined at David’s 388 and Luke’s Lobster and visited the Portland Head Light.  Lunch from Monte’s Fine Foods was so good we patronized it two days in a row.  It is everything I had hoped for Maamos Kitchen, but focused solely on Italian cuisine.  The custard at Red’s Dairy Freeze was well worth waiting in the long line.  I look forward to returning to Portland with Lori some day.

After boarding my first flight on the way there, I discovered that I brought the wrong headphones - I had the ones that fit my laptop, but I needed the ones that fit into my phone.  This took listening to music or podcasts off of the table.  So I pulled out my Kindle and opened up a new book I had downloaded - Who, Not How by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy.  The basic assertion of the book is that we can often be more effective by enlisting others in our efforts.  I have been guilty of having too much of a “DIY” mindset, resulting in it taking longer for me to accomplish certain things, and sometimes completing them in ways that are far below their potential. Sometimes, I need to get more skilled people involved in my efforts.  As with many valuable books, its ideas aren't radical.  But they shine a light on an often overlooked tendency that many of us have.  If our default setting is always to do things ourselves, we miss an opportunity to get more done - and at a higher level of quality, by collaborating with others.  It was a refreshing reminder.

I read the entire book before returning to Columbus.  Thankfully I also had downloaded Robert Caro’s The Years of Lyndon Johnson, Master of the Senate.  I’m not very far into yet, but Brian Koppelman says this is essential reading to understand how legislative power works in America.

I can’t tell you the last time that I read an entire book and started a second one in the same week.  The absence of the headphones let me absorb knowledge in a different way than I originally intended.  It felt refreshing, like my mind was working better for having given my ears a rest, and leaning into other areas of cognition.

At the AirBnB, all by myself because my friends had left and my flight home was not until the following morning, I did listen to this podcast interview of Chase Jarvis.  In it, he speaks on the power of focus.  In this era of steady digital dopamine drip, focus is a real superpower.  Gurus of ancient wisdom, like Sadhguru and Dandapani have been reminding us of this for years.  A misplaced set of headphones turned out to be the best thing to happen to me all week.

Sunday Supper
This week I am prepping Thai Beef Basil with Coconut Rice, complementing it with a simple pan of roasted sweet potatoes seasoned with Maani’s Indian Spice blends.  This Slow Cooker Shredded Beef will be making its way onto some salad greens in the days ahead.

Sunday Music
Here is a wonderful set of Latin music featuring Rita Payés at the NPR Tiny Desk - a great way to get your body moving on a Sunday morning.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,

Golf Lessons

I’m a golfer.  It’s a part of my identity.  My first memory of playing the game, probably around the age of twelve, is with my father at the “executive” course at Blacklick Woods Metro Park, in Reynoldsburg.  It is now called the “Learning Course,” and it was a great place to learn the game.  I very much enjoyed golf in my youth, though I took a hiatus during a portion of my teen years.  The combination of hormones and rapid physical growth created the double-whammy scenario of diminished physical coordination with a hormone-enhanced temper.  I could not hit the ball very well, and got unreasonably upset about it.  By college I had settled down, and was enjoying the game regularly again.  A student membership to Ohio State’s golf courses was just $250 per year - which probably equated into about $3 per round.  

As I have matured, I’ve experienced mixed emotions about identifying as a golfer.  Its reputation as an elitist, country club activity doesn’t match my own self-image.  Aside from human status games, it also feels really indulgent to spend 4+ hours hitting a little white ball around a beautiful parkland.  Despite this dissonance, I continue to play.  Most of my closest friends play the game, so there really is no escaping it. The feeling of a well-struck shot is something I will always be chasing.

The game has a taught me many lessons over the years:

• Never be late for a tee time.

• You can learn a lot about a person by watching them on a golf course.  How they manage their emotions.  How they follow the rules.  How they treat other people.

• Golf is a walking game.

• The average person can hit a world-class golf shot - just not as often as Tiger Woods.

• Mind state affects performance.  When I show up to the first tee relaxed, grateful to be there, and free of expectations, I play better.

• Good swings sometimes produce poor results (and vice-versa).

• Play it as it lies.  Sometimes the ball is laying in thick grass, hard to get good contact with the club.  Just do your best, and try to advance the ball to a better position.

• Pre-shot routines can be helpful.  Consider the hazards ahead.  Have a clear picture in the mind for how you want the ball to respond to the shot.  A practice swing to prime your body, then swing free and accept the result.

• Forget bad shots immediately.  Dwelling on them only affects your next shot.

• The diameter of the hole on the 18th green at The Old Course in St. Andrews, Scotland, is exactly the same diameter as the cups at the Blacklick Woods Learning Course.

• When all is said and done, golf is just a game.

One last metaphorical thought:  Life is a lot like golf - but our parents hit our tee shots for us.  The better at golf/life that our parents are, the better start we typically enjoy.

Sunday Supper
This Beef Vegetable Soup and Green Goddess Salad are going to be on our table this Sunday.

Sunday Music
This time of year, I always think of Neil Young and his song Harvest Moon.  While we're at it, here's a three-song set from Young's former bandmate, Graham Nash at the NPR Tiny Desk.  Enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,