Getting Back In The Game
Good day to you!
This past week was a bit cloudy and cool, befitting of a transition into Fall. The leaves indeed do keep falling. The days ahead look to be sunnier and warmer, though.
Regular readers of my weekly posts know that I’ve been exploring new paths to take with parts of my work life. As a self-employed “solopreneur,” I’ve been brainstorming and researching a lot of different ways to leverage my strengths and create value. A conversation with Lori recently crystalized for me the crux of the challenge: More than anything, failure avoidance has been driving my thinking. Until this week, this truth has been bubbling below my conscious awareness. I had listed a number of ideas that have been in my “parking lot” for consideration. When prompted with the question “Which one do you most want to pursue?” My internal response was “The one that I won’t fail at.”
So, I thought about failure. What is it, really? In one sense, any time we fall short of a stated goal we have failed. But certainly lots of people fail their way to massive success. As Casey Kasem was fond of saying, “Shoot for the stars, you just may land on the moon.” I’m OK with this kind of failure. It might be more accurate to call it incremental success - we didn’t hit our goal, but directionally we made progress. Let’s try again.
There are two dimensions to failure that I really want to avoid. The first is financial. When all was said and done, the Maamos Kitchen project lost a meaningful sum of money. I certainly do not want to repeat this. The second has to do with status or reputation. I care too much what other people think of me. Intellectually, I know that for most part, very few people think of me at all. I have high-achieving friends, amazing people who have accomplished a lot. And in my own way, I feel capable of doing something similar. Falling short of this high standard is disappointing.
When we were developing the Maamos Kitchen concept, we embraced a phrase introduced to us by Seth Godin: “This might not work.” It freed us up to make decisions, execute, and keep moving as we tried to bring our vision to life. I’m not as willing to embrace the notion of things not working out for whatever my next endeavor turns out to be.
What does success look like? However crass this may seem, to me success means making more money. Money creates options. Beyond this, success means making a difference to other people. It may also mean the luxury of working with a team. I’ve been working on my own for many years. I wouldn’t say it is lonely, but I like the idea of doing something that warrants the effort and energy of more than just me. I miss that.
If you’ve never heard of Simon Sinek’s book Start With Why, forget I ever mentioned it. That book has been the bane of my existence for many years. It convincingly makes the case that figuring out one’s life purpose unlocks the path forward. This hasn’t been true for me. The more I wrestle with “finding my WHY,” the more it distills down to: “Helping my fellow man get the most out of their brief time on Earth.” This has manifested in many ways - by feeding people, by helping them better feed themselves, through laughter, through basic assistance. It could manifest in many different ways beyond these. So the notion of thinking about my “Why” has not delivered clarity in terms of determining my next steps.
These past few years I’ve been able to successfully hide from this fear of failure. Serving as the “flexible parent” during our boys’ last few years of high school and even college, caring for my ailing mother… there have been plenty of good things for me to do for my family, and it is a blessing that I was available to do them. But it also allowed me to kick the can down the road in terms of deciding what I wanted to do with time and energy.
Now the kids are out of the house. Mom is gone. And Lori is in her home office, working away while I wrestle with the question of what to do with myself. I’m immensely grateful - I have clients I care for, and good work to do for them. But this does not add up to full-time engagement. I have more to give.
What is “calling” to me? What “resonates,” or “glows more brightly?” Of course I love food, but I’ve never found a way to make money in this realm. I love entrepreneurship, and have a lot of experience facilitating meetings of business owners, helping them wrestle with the every day challenges. I love dogs, and think that non-veterinary pet service businesses are likely to enjoy a tailwind for some time, given the spike in pet ownership that occurred during the pandemic. And I love to write, and speak with others about issues and ideas. Perhaps there is a path forward in content creation, but I’m still searching for a premise that feels like it has legs. My brain is buzzing.
If reasonable success was certain, which of these would I most like to have manifest? I reject the premise of this question. I think a better question may be this: “What game would I enjoy playing, that I can afford, where I can bring my existing talents to bear while also learning and growing?
Stay tuned, friends - and thanks for sharing in this journey. I would love to hear stories of how you have wrestled with this type of challenge.
Sunday Supper
I decided to get my COVID and flu boosters yesterday afternoon. In case I didn’t feel like cooking afterward, I made this wonderful Chicken & Rice soup. It’s wonderful. This Greek Salad is a good way to keep enjoying the abundance of in-season tomatoes, too.
Sunday Music
Men I Trust is a new group that one of my hip, in-touch-with-culture fiends put only radar. Here is a sweet little garage session of theirs. Also, check out Margaret Glaspy’s Get Back, off of her new album, Echo The Diamond. Margaret is performing this coming Tuesday at Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights (an excellent excuse to go see our younger son) - come join me at the show!
Have a great week ahead! Offer support to others. Make good use of this day. And let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Neal