Heck Yeah

Don’t you just love the new terms that arise out of meteorology?  Back in my day, this heat wave we’ve been experiencing would have been called just that - a “heat wave.”  But now we’re calling it a “heat dome.”  Okey dokey…. I’m feeling a little cranky, reminiscent of that famous crank, Andy Rooney.  Maybe it’s the heat affecting me.

I found myself thinking about how, as we age, we achieve this exalted status of having “Zero Fucks To Give.”  (This newsletter does occasionally allow cursing, but for the remainder of this essay all “fucks” will be converted into “hecks.”)

So, where do all the hecks go?

Many are lost as we accumulate wealth.  “Heck You Money” is the ultimate manifestation of this concept.  (If you ever read an essay from me that fails to translate curse words into tamer terms, you will know I have hit some sort of financial jackpot.). With each Zestimate emailed to be by Zillow, my heck count falls.  Years of paying our mortgage, combined with Intel’s arrival driving up home values has me feeling pretty good about my low-interest note and fast-growing equity in the house.  So, there is probably an inverse relationship between financial security and heck count.

Having kids has driven down many of my hecks.  Watching them grow up, enduring the status games of youth - and then noticing those same games being played by adults all around us.  It helped me to better see them for what they are, and respond accordingly.

Losing my parents definitely contributed to a steep decline in hecks for me.  Having a front-row seat to both of their exits has offered a special perspective - almost everything they ever cared about or worried about was rendered absolutely irrelevant when compared to mortality.  But this was more than a vicarious absorption of truth.  My dying parents exposed me to stresses that forced me to be brutally honest with myself about my priorities.  The emotional and physical energy expended required me to limit all other activities to just the essentials.  So I ended up learning what could wait…sometimes forever.

And that is when the last few hecks flutter off into the breeze.  When one really, truly appreciates just how brief life is, they just take off like butterflies. 

This doesn’t mean that I don’t care about anything.  It just means that my cares are hyper-focused on the precious few things that truly matter.  Lifting people up.  Laughing.  Eating well, nurturing others.  Setting a good example (my modest attempt at showing my fellow humans what I consider to be game theory optimal behavior for maximizing our time here on earth).  

Having no hecks is not the same thing as having a license to be an ass.  Being an ass has consequences, at least some of the time.  If my life is better lived by ignoring an ass, this is my preferred response.  But if compelled to engage, oof.  One must always avoid getting into a contest to establish who is the bigger ass with a heck-free elder.

Stay cool, my friend.

Sunday Supper
I’m leaning into cool salads this week.  No need to heat up the kitchen too much, or swelter over the grill.  This North African Tuna and Rice salad fits the bill.  So does this Thai Beef Salad.    This Smashed Zucchini w/ Chickpeas and Peanuts seems interesting, as well.

Sunday Music
This tune from Mr. Thomas Benjamin Wild, Esq. fits today’s theme quite nicely (though he does not translate the “F” word into “heck”).  This new tune from Lake Street Dive resonates.  And this set from the great Chaka Khan at the NPR Tiny Desk is fantastic - enjoy!

If you know anyone who might like this essay, please share it with them. 

Have a great week ahead!  Offer support to others.  Make good use of this day.  And let me know how I can help.

Peace & Love,