Listen up
Hello, Friend!
The sun continues to shine, and the flowers are still so fragrant. Spring has been rolling along quite nicely - but we need a bit of rain to keep the farmers happy. (I’m a big fan of happy farmers…). It looks like today will probably be the day we are graced with some rain.
Lori and I made it out to Oregon for our friends’ wedding. The logistics and weather could not have been more favorable. It was so, so good in every way. I officiated my first wedding. It went well, but I couldn’t help but learn from the experience. It’s kind of like making pancakes - the first one is fine, but they get better with repetition. I avoided all of the easiest blunders, so there’s that. The ceremony occurred on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean, and the wind really kicked up. A tent shading some musicians was well-anchored, but my confidence in it was not 100%. I kept things moving along so we could take it down before the wind did it for us.
That same wind (plus a little more) re-appeared the next afternoon for my round of golf at Pacific Dunes. What a magical day - I literally had the course all to myself for most of the afternoon. No one had teed off for about an hour before me, and none were scheduled for a quite a while after my tee time. Lori, my caddy Joaquin and I didn’t catch up to the players ahead of us until the 16th tee box. The wind wreaked havoc on my score, but I’d do it again in a heartbeat. A few pictures from my round of golf can be found here (scroll to the bottom for the golf stuff).
I listened to Preet Barara’s podcast, Stay Tuned With Preet, this past week and it is the inspiration for today’s theme. The podcast covers a lot of ground, and drives home for me the importance of improving my own listening skills. We all understand that listening is more than just waiting for our turn to talk. Done properly, a good listener conveys to the speaker that they are being truly heard - that we are taking in what they are communicating, and really absorbing it. Absorption and agreement are different things, to be sure. But isn’t it easier to “agree to disagree” if you feel like your point(s) were truly considered?
Preet interviewed Niobe Way, professor of Applied Psychology at New York University. Professor Way most recently published The Crisis of Connection: Its Roots, Consequences, and Solutions. A big thrust of her work focuses on cultural gender norms, and their affects on human development. She also created a program called The Listening Project, a program implemented in schools across the country with the goal of reducing harassment, bullying, depression, anxiety and loneliness - all of which have been climbing amongst our children for many years.
Beyond the topics explicitly covered in this podcast conversation, it dawned on me that listening is really a cornerstone skill capable of unlocking many benefits at once. With significantly improved listening skills, we could improve children’s happiness, reduce political polarization, and reduce “lone wolf” violence in America.
We all need to feel seen and heard. Despite the massive electronic connectivity that has developed over the past 20+ years, it seems that too few of us are receiving this type of acknowledgment and acceptance from those around us. An important tool to address this is better listening.
Sunday Supper
I was trying to figure out what to make for dinner Thursday night, so checked the freezer to see what proteins we had on hand. Sitting there was a pound each of sea scallops and shrimp. In Oregon I had a great bowl of clam chowder at Mo’s, so figured why not make some more? This recipe really did the trick. I also made a salad with this Honey Lime Vinaigrette. Enjoy!
Sunday Music
I don’t recall if I’ve ever shared Patty Griffin with you. This is a lovely performance by her at the NPR Tiny Desk. A distinctive voice and evocative lyricist. Enjoy!
Have a great week ahead! Offer support to others. Make good use of this day. And let me know how I can help.
Peace & Love,
Neal